All marriages are a mix of highs and lows, and nobody is perfect. If you and your partner have struggled more than usual, however, identifying problem spots can help you address them head-on. It may also make it clear that it is time to let go for the happiness of both people. If your relationship shows signs of an unhappy marriage, take stock of the situation. It may be time to decide to stay or go.
Communication is key to any healthy relationship. If you and your spouse have had more trouble communicating over the last few years, this could be a sign of a deeper issue. For example, if you don’t often talk to each other face to face or don’t feel that you have much to say to your partner, you may be suffering from deep-rooted unhappiness. The same is true if your arguments are no longer productive or healthy; if they only serve to tear each other down.
Marriage counseling can give you the tools that you need to become a more effective communicator with your spouse. There may be certain phrases you can use to facilitate open and honest conversations or express yourself in a way that your spouse will understand. It can also help to have an unbiased counselor work through issues with you and your spouse to find solutions.
Fights, arguments and dissatisfaction are not the only signs of an unhappy marriage. It can also appear in the form of being satisfied while leading separate lives. If you and your partner choose to do things apart for the majority of the time and you are both unbothered (or happier) doing so, this could be a sign that you would be better off divorced. If you’ve stopped consulting your partner about major decisions, for example, this is a red flag that he or she has stopped being a friend and advisor to you – a sign that you no longer feel connected.
For many couples, the breakdown of physical intimacy is one of the first indicators of something amiss in the relationship. While many things aside from marital happiness can decrease the amount of physical intimacy – including health problems, children and the busyness of life – if you’re both sexually active but are having sex with your partner only rarely, this is a sign of an unhappy marriage. Physical intimacy does not only refer to sex, either. It can also mean hugging, kissing or cuddling.
Once upon a time, you may have envisioned a future with your spouse full of hope and happiness. If you can no longer visualize this future, it could be a sign that the love has gone from your marriage. Many people struggling in unhappy marriages stop caring about a future with their partners, as if this will make it emotionally easier to separate. This can mean that your relationship has run its course and that it’s time for both of you to move on.
Spotting red flags in your marriage can allow you and your spouse to tackle the problems directly, with or without help from a marriage counselor. If you and your spouse decide that you cannot change or fix what is wrong with the marriage, you can decide to go your separate ways. Before you embark on this difficult journey, contact a family law attorney in Fort Collins for legal advice and assistance.
Divorce is not your only option if you and your spouse are going through a rough patch. If the possibility of reconciliation is there, you can legally separate instead. Legal separation is not as permanent as divorce and can easily be reversed. It is also easier to turn a legal separation into a divorce, if desired. An attorney can go over all of your options as someone in an unhappy marriage during an initial consultation.